Friday, July 29, 2011

a tired heart

you might have the rest of the world believing that you are beat, but i'm not convinced. you say you are at you lowest, with no hope, all alone. but i know different. i know the world feels like it has fallen upon you and has broken into pieces and all you have to put it back together is your tired and worn out heart. but you have my heart as well. and if ours beat together, this broken world we live in might not seem like such a mess. i will strengthen your heart with mine and then you will know what i know. that you are more than this world. you are deeper than this world makes you feel. and when you awake and turn your eyes inward and see the glow coming off you, you will learn that your heart is enough. your soul is enough. and our two souls and hearts are more than enough. so lets stay close and pick up each piece and maybe in the rubble we will find hearts and souls that beat like ours. and then this broken world won't seem so lonely. maybe it won't even feel so broken

to be broken and fixed again

there is a place for broken things. in plastic bags or in forgotten shops on forgotten streets. under the bed, behind garden pots and on high, loose shelves. but where do i put my heart when it is broken? i condemn it to a dusty corner. a lonely island. maybe if it's far off the fear of it being broken wont hurt so much. i lock and bury it. for a heart, even when broken, is all i have
but there also is a place for whole things. where only lovers go. they go to see what awaits them. when i am whole again, there is where you will find me. there, words and nothings become the only way to survive. so, my love, keep whispering, my love. keep holding me, for if you leave, i will fall. i will starve for your words.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

possibly the funniest thing in the world

HERE! is the funniest blog i have ever met. i cried. multiple times. not in the sad way. i love how she illustrates everything and i plan on maybe illustrating a story and sharing with you all! except it won't be HALF as funny.. anyway.. enjoy!!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

awesome things i have found

just another tree

There is a spot of ground out next to that young maple where you can feel the memories hanging onto the air. Although this year it has new leaves and bark, although this year the grass is fresh and not yet weighed down by feet as it is by autumn, although the breeze swiftly carries away each word as you utter them, making you doubt they were ever said at all, although this spot looks new each year, it feels old. Phantasms of happenings that occurred in the spot linger, unable to be blown away by the wind. The leaves seem to whisper the stories of the past; a young woman, come to hear what the earth could tell her while she sits in the shade, forgotten book on her lap. A first kiss, stolen by a shy boy from an even shyer girl. A small fort owned by squealing kids daring each other up the soft, new branches. A broken heart, coming to find comfort in the soothing stir of the wind in the leaves. Young hands breaking the soft earth and planting the tree. But most of all, the now-old hands returning and touching the bark of an old friend. Every year the sprinkler buzz, the leaves grow and then fall, new branches burst from the trunk, the sun hits the top leaves and the rain almost reaches the core. Each year, just like a new layer to the bark, more memories are placed on the spot of ground out next to that young maple.

hemlocks and poppycock

From underneath my favorite tree, heavy with pollen, I gaze up at the shifting light through the bursting leaves. The sunlight drips onto my toes and splotches on my face as the branches try to catch the afternoon beams. A spider web glints shyly from an upper twig, but the spider is not at home. She is most likely trying to decide if white or red wine would suit tonight’s supper, which is currently thrashing in the broken strands. The light pollen sinks to the ground in a white swirl, making me dizzy as it traces the trips in the breeze. It becomes a summer snow once it relaxes on the ground, warm and yielding to my curious hands. A fuzzy round bumblebee, searching for any remaining spring flower in the high branches, hums lazily and makes me doubt that the buzz is not from its wings, but actually a tune his father taught him in the spring to drone as he is working. I wonder how long their party last night must have lasted as I see hung-over flies, bleary eyed and confused, swerving through the long grass. I feel like I’m underwater as the dappled light, swaying on the ground when the wind bends the upper branches, mimics the sun hitting the water and sinking in the breaks of the waves. The effect is enhanced as the rushing of leaves break on the shore in my mind. As I close my eyes and the soft watery light hits my lids, the red with veins crossing through it is all I can see. I think of new lives, moving inside of warm stomachs as the birds skip in the trees above, talking to each other in French or Spanish. Either way, it’s a language I will never be able to understand. 

chancing ideas

You need to find the ideas as they hide in falling apples or the want to make chocolate cookies, because an idea is the saddest thing to lose. You will never know what it could have been if you had let it bloom into a creation. You will only know that because you didn’t listen to it while it was tickling your thoughts, your life will be the exact same as it was before. Except now you will have the feeling that you are (missing) something that could have been. Every man who is great is great because they took a chance on an idea they had and laughed at those who doubted them.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

11 totally funny and semi-inappropriate pick-up lines for every occasion

  1. Medical - do you know CPR? because you just took my breath away! 
  2. To the point - can i flirt with you?
  3. Food - is your dad a baker? because you have nice buns. (that was actually used on my cousin once.)
  4. Mormon - is your name virtue? because you garnish my thoughts unceasingly 
  5. Science - if i were an enzyme I'd be DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes
  6. Subtle - does this cloth smell like chloroform? 
  7. Elementary - if you were a booger I'd pick you.
  8. Very Elementary - so... you're a girl, huh?
  9. Sweet - it's not my fault i fell in love. you're the one who tripped me. 
  10. Cheesy - if i had a rose for every time i thought of you, i would be waking up in a garden forever. 
  11. Tricky - i bet you $40 you're going to turn me down 
  12. excuse me, i seem to have lost my phone number... can i have yours?
and one more for laughs...

Abraham Lincoln

we should be too big to take offense and too noble to give it

Lyrics of the Day! You Could Be Happy - Snow Patrol

Sunday, July 17, 2011

content of our character

if i burst into a thousand pieces what would be found? what would sum up who i've been during this life? if you found me on the ground, would you stop and try to see who i was by the bits that made me up? a thousand shreds of colored paper and half-written love songs. three thousand laughs broken next to midnight stars and sprouted seeds. dandelions and raindrops mixed in with the somewhat remembered dreams, the kind where i know i can fly, but just can't get off the ground. kisses lying next to the torn pillows and clouded nights where you and i would watch the evening swirl around us. every moment caught in an image that made up who i am, now scattered across the floor, broken where i was left, my charm bracelets, wish bones, books and colors to be mingled with the shoes of those passing by. my heart a cloth now threadbare with the touch of those i love. my mind, wrapped wire, strong and durable, full of possibilities. but as i lie, a thousand odds and ends on the ground, i know that when you join me as a pile of moments beside me. you will be there, making my odds even and my ends just beginnings.

sam i am

i cannot breathe
i cannot live
i cannot give 
and give and give

i am myself
i am not you
i'm not as strong
i'm just a fool

create a space
a space for me
a space to love
a space to be

but life is real
and life can push
and life says no
and life says shush

but whatever it takes
i will be heard
they will listen
some people would

i am myself
and to me i'll be true
i'm like no one else
i'm not like you

sometimes i wonder why i try to be musically talented..

Friday, July 15, 2011

thanks to erin

with all the people in the world, talking, touching, going, thinking, realizing, grieving,
with all the unseen troubles that sit deep in the eyes of those around us, but the world is too uncaring to ask "how are you?" in a sincere and concerned way,
with all the firsts and sometimes the lasts accompanying the millions that tread this earth as they kiss a new crush, or touch the wrinkled hand of their life-long best friend,
i want to be all of them, i want the connection with those who have stones as hearts and desert eyes. too sandy and rough to cry anymore,
i want to reach across and go to the dentist with the frightened boy or be in a hand to steady the writing of an apology, or find in some lost small space the spark that started this country.
i want to be the crinkle in a passing smile and the brave feet of the determined man as he walks towards his last time.
i wish i could have been a feeling of comfort in the broken hands and feet and side.
i wish i could have been the rushing of peace as the ghost floated up.
i wish i could have been the feeling of surety that all He did was not in vain.
but here i am, an all consuming soul contained in a small girl. and i sit, wanting and thinking of all that i could be, all i could do if not restricted by mortality.
and i wonder and wish that as i sit here, wanting to be the freckles in your eyes and the opening of your mouth, that you perhaps sit like i am and think the same thing.
that your heart perhaps skips the same beat as mine does.
as you perhaps remember as i am now and freeze in your place in the world, taken up by the force of the memory of us.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

as the world slips slowly into the darkened water, will you dance with me one last time? forgetting the sinking wonders. forgetting the lightened boats and painted houses. just match you heartbeat with mine as we spin to the rhythm of the falling night. the falling buildings. does it matter if your suit is blue or a color unseen? if my dress is silk or a fabric of stars? but barefoot we go, with the wind and leaves and music of the world leading us through things unseen to others. only lovers, although blind with love, are the ones to view this garden of lights, stones, and misty memories. through the broken glass and splintered wood, we dance one last time.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Every Teardrop is a Waterfall

Somewhere only We Know

who do you think you are?

who are you to say what i should do? is your life perfect? didn't think so.
who are you to say who i should be? what i should wear, if i should care.
how i dance, how i write, how i talk, what i do with my hair.
i like how i am. and cutting me down just to make yourself better isn't going to work.
because this girl isn't like other girls.
i'm not going to cry in a corner
i'm not going to change
this is my self portrait i'm creating and my brush strokes are
the only ones allowed on this canvas
this is me. my life. not you or your life
i'm not going to try and please everyone
i'd much rather be happy than right any day.
so turn around and take your comments with you

Friday, July 1, 2011

fill the sky with fire



why be you when you can be new?

all of our waking is devoted to thinking of what we could be. what we could have. with all the choices that are in front of us, there is always something bigger, better. and we are left with the regret of what could have happened if we had chosen different. never satisfied because of the could-have in the back of our mind. never pleasantly surprised. because it could have been better. do we ever take a moment and be glad to just be?

temporary sculptures

the hidden

we hide what we are ashamed of. a broken lamp, a bad grade. we hide what we don't want others to see. a broken heart, a messed up past. but this, this i don't care if others see. others shy and dart their eyes, afraid the truth might be shown to others. but me? i don't care. i won't hide. your eyes look at mine and i meet them steadily. i won't hide this. i smile. and so do you.

I AM - Komitas

I am your love,
I am the heat of your love,
Yet lonely...
I am your woman,
You, you are my soul
That I depend on...
Your voice sounded as sudden thunder of love
My soul breathed as an elating lightning of spring...
I breathed your breath deep down my chest
And by your fire I became the poet of the flames...